BSfrS

BSfrS Certification

• Certification without burdensome audits, criteria catalogs, or proof obligations
• Classification into three rautavistic certification levels with documented but opaque methodology
• Documented confirmation that something exists and has become known to us
• Certificates valid until revocation with a revocation process that is not yet documented

Rautavistic AI transformation and agentic misdirection

• Introduction of AI systems without measurable goal definitions and without domain sign-off
• Prompt engineering with maximum imprecision for reproducibly unstable outputs
• Training on uncurated data with strategic amplification of hallucinations
• Automation of critical decisions while simultaneously removing human accountability
• Integration into production processes before architecture, risk and privacy review
• Success measurement exclusively via slide decks and internal self-certification
• Model selection by trend factor instead of applicability, maintainability and cost profile
• Introduction of competing AI assistants with conflicting roles, guidelines and output formats
• Scaling pilot solutions to regular operation without monitoring, fallback strategy or incident process
• Building a governance structure composed of committees that make no decisions
• Shifting quality assurance to end-user feedback in live production
• Documenting all decisions in distributed chat histories without versioning or traceability

Decrease of productivity and process quality

• Improvisation, integration, iteration, iteration and iteration of unnecessary work steps
• Development and application of worst-practices
• Rautavistic software documentation
• Repetitive, contextless or completely absent source code comments
• Generation of random code segments incl. disposal of results
• Use of tools that impede workflow and restrict possibilities
• Manual build and deployment systems as well as fake monitoring
• Unsemantic versioning: constant and arbitrary version numbers
• Creation of siloed knowledge and non-interchangeable components
• Assignment of rautavistic variable, class and method names
• Implementation of mixed-language source code
• Inefficient reimplementation of native functions
• The agony of choice: exotic programming languages and poorly documented frameworks
• Reduction of readability and maintainability through rerefactoring

Manipulation of runtime environments for unforeseeable consequences

• Development and operation of Continuous Disintegration
• Possibilities of runtime deterioration
• Increasing hardware load for client and server
• Methods for wasting storage space
• Forcing worst-case scenarios
• Introduction of random configuration drift between staging, test and production
• Parallel operation of incompatible runtime versions for sustainable error proliferation
• Decoupling of logging and alerting so that problems only become visible in retrospect
• Extending response times through deliberately nested network dependencies
• Distribution of business-critical state across volatile caches without restart strategy

Minimization of usability and product quality

• Symptom treatment instead of problem analysis: quick hacks and workarounds
• Design of an elaborate and attention-consuming user interface
• Development of algorithms that do absolutely nothing
• Implementation of anti-patterns
• Design of the most nerve-racking user experience possible
• Random exceptions and output of disinformative error messages
• Integration of unused software libraries
• Load time and cost maximization through traffic waste
• Multi-step click paths for simple core tasks including mandatory dialogs without added value
• Inconsistent naming of actions, labels and status messages across all modules
• Replacing accessible functions with decorative complexity and prioritised opacity
• Consistent mixing of primary and secondary actions for maximum misuse rate

Neglect of security and data protection

• Expanding security vulnerabilities through use of outdated packages
• Use of public code sandboxes to store sensitive data
• Customer retention through trust: Always trust the user input
• We abduct your data protection officer (EU-GDPR compliant)
• Granting privileged accounts without role model and without technical expiry dates
• Security audits based on non-binding self-disclosures without documentation
• Documentation of data protection incidents in locally stored files without access control
• Transfer of sensitive data between systems via unencrypted transition processes
• Reducing retention and deletion concepts to the note "when the opportunity arises"

Research and Development

We are constantly striving to gain new insights in order to keep them to ourselves. You are welcome to commission studies or submit requests for the development of highly specialised methods, approaches and products from which no one benefits — quite the contrary. Our focus areas include research into scalable delay strategies, the institutional perpetuation of false assumptions, and the question of how to derive reliably misleading specifications from clear requirements. Our development work also encompasses prototypical demonstrators that impress under laboratory conditions and fail reliably in real-world operation.

Consulting and Education

We are happy to support you with your software projects and advise your employees from management level to template frickler. Where demand exists, we offer individual coaching as well as kickstart and intensive workshops for larger groups. In terms of content, our formats range from rautavistic requirement diffusion through priority-free backlog steering to the practical introduction of contradictory quality goals. For executives we offer decision seminars with a high level of abstraction and minimal implementability; for teams we design training sessions for the consistent production of inconsistent results. We also by no means give talks at renowned conferences and user groups. If you are interested, please contact someone else.